Learning to “Train Your Amygdala” in SEL with Ms. Kilroy
At Havern, social-emotional learning (SEL) is an important part of every student’s week. Each class meets once a week with our school psychologist, Melanie Kilroy, for lessons that help students understand their emotions, practice empathy, and develop strategies to stay calm and connected in moments of stress.
So far, students have been learning about the different parts of the brain and how they work together. Understanding the brain gives students a concrete way to think about their feelings—and why sometimes emotions can seem to take over.
The Upstairs and Downstairs Brain
This week, Ms. Kilroy introduced the idea of the “upstairs brain” and “downstairs brain.”
Downstairs Brain (Amygdala): The amygdala is the emotional part of the brain. You can think of it like the brain’s guard dog—always alert and ready to protect us when we feel scared, frustrated, or angry. But sometimes, the amygdala reacts so quickly that it takes control, shutting down our ability to think clearly. That’s when students might feel overwhelmed or have a hard time making good choices.
Upstairs Brain (Thinking Brain): This is the part of the brain that helps with problem-solving, planning, and making thoughtful decisions. It’s like the wise guide who helps us respond calmly. But when the downstairs brain takes over, the upstairs brain can get “cut off,” which makes it harder to use reasoning and self-control.
Training the Amygdala
The exciting part of SEL is that students don’t just learn about their brains—they learn what to do when their amygdala starts to take charge. Ms. Kilroy taught students that they can actually “train their amygdala” by practicing calming strategies, such as:
Taking slow, deep breaths to signal safety to the brain
Counting to ten before reacting
Using positive self-talk like “I can handle this”
Taking a short break or walking away when emotions feel too big
Practicing mindfulness or grounding strategies (noticing what they can see, hear, and feel around them)
To make this idea come alive, students each colored their own Amygdala Monster. These monsters represented their emotional brains—sometimes fierce, sometimes silly, sometimes colorful—and gave students a way to picture what happens when their amygdala is “in charge.” After creating their monsters, they practiced ways to help their amygdala monster calm down when it feels overwhelmed. This creative activity gave students both ownership and a playful reminder that even big emotions can be managed with the right tools.
Bringing It Home
One of the best ways to reinforce these lessons is through conversation at home. Try asking your child:
What did your Amygdala Monster look like?
What helps your Amygdala Monster stay calm?
What strategies can you use when your downstairs brain takes over?
Can you teach me how to train my amygdala?
This week’s lesson was inspired by “How to Train Your Amygdala” by Anna Housley, a kid-friendly story that makes brain science accessible and fun.
At Havern, we believe that learning goes far beyond academics. By helping students understand how their brains and emotions work—and even giving their amygdala a face and personality—students gain lifelong tools for self-awareness, resilience, and confidence. SEL lessons like this one remind students that while emotions are powerful, they have the strategies to stay in control and thrive.
