Finding the Right Fit: A Havern Parent’s Experience

My daughter attends Havern School and has ASD (autism spectrum disorder level two), an anxiety disorder and learning disabilities in every subject area. She is also very precocious, highly verbal, an amazing artist and gifted.

Like many families, we started her education by attending our neighborhood school. It was a wonderful school with an incredible principal. They tried so hard to serve us. And they didn’t fail us. Our needs simply exceeded what they could offer. With every successive year, my daughter fell more behind academically. As the social landscape became more complicated, she became increasingly anxious and socially isolated. But then things shifted, she became depressed and even ran from the school. Every morning was a struggle to get her to the door. And unfortunately, we were unable to secure an appropriate placement within the district. She needed small group academic intervention to catch up plus the additional complication of adding academic challenges to meet her gifted needs.  She needed a great deal of social support in order to make friends and connections. And she needed emotional support to help her regulate her emotions and manage her anxiety. There was no place within the district that could do all these things.  Her depression and anxiety were on an upward trajectory and became acute leaving us desperate to find an appropriate place for her.

I think it’s often hard to explain the isolating experience of being a neurodivergent kiddo among more typical peers, and being a parent of a neurodivergent child. As a family, we are greatly limited because of our daughter’s anxiety, social challenges, rigid schedule and inability to emotionally regulate which can lead to meltdowns. We rarely travel, don’t go to restaurants, have few play dates and rarely get invited to the homes of others. Really only other families with neurodivergent kids understand this struggle. And educationally there are very few options that truly provide all of the support these kids need.

In our desperate search for an appropriate educational setting we found Havern. Havern School is an amazing 501(c)(3) nonprofit private school not too far from our house. They serve neurodivergent kids and kids with learning differences. The school has a small group, personalized academic support and integrated therapeutic services. I truly believe that there is no other school that could truly serve my child. We feel incredibly fortunate to have received one of the coveted spots in this small school. Many families in our situation end up homeschooling their children because there really just isn’t a place that meets the needs of this complex and underserved population.

Since starting at Havern, my daughter is happy, she has friends, she doesn’t feel like the different/weird kid, she’s building confidence and starting to succeed academically. She’s finally receiving both the academic assistance as well as the social and emotional support that she desperately needs.

While my daughter was at her old school I had looming anxiety about middle school. I knew there was no public middle school that could meet her needs. She struggles with noise, crowds, needs adult help to navigate almost all unstructured time and social situations and has a great deal of trouble with transitions. I didn’t know how she would be able to navigate a middle school-multiple teachers and classes, complex peer situations, even passing periods. So we are thrilled to know that we have an ideal spot for her through eighth grade. 

Finding Havern has truly been a gift to our family. Knowing that my daughter will have the academic resources and social and emotional support she needs feels great as a parent. We are incredibly grateful and looking forward to more years at this amazing school. 

- A Havern Parent, 2023